Why I Hate Brown

This blog was previously posted on the I’m First! Scholarship Blog Series and recently migrated here to my personal site.

Choosing which college to attend is one of life’s greatest challenges. There are many tangible components to consider when compiling one’s list—academic programs, location, prestige and extracurricular activities are only some of the few aspects that play a major role in the decision process. However, experiencing college prior to matriculating is a luxury many are not able to integrate when it comes to choosing the college. Even if one is lucky to go to a school’s admit program, it only provides a brief overview of actual college life. Thus, I will do my best to share with you all my top reasons why my Brown experience has not been going as well. I hope that my experience will provide insight when considering Brown University—so, here you go!

1. Students at Brown are way too nice. It’s hard for me to fathom that I actually go to a top tier school where students are actually humble about their accolades. Um, last I checked, the Ivy League was suppose to be pompous and overly pretentious—not modest. Brown must have poisoned everyone with their water or something because there can’t be a school where happiness is ubiquitous. Shouldn’t that, like, be impossible? I mean, how many schools actually have a collaborative, humble and cheerful student body? (Apparently Brown does…)
2. Professors here actually care about their students? This is quite disturbing, as we all know that the student-teacher relationship should be limited to classrooms and should never, EVER leave the classroom. With that being said, professors here at Brown are quick to invite students to their office hours and actually encourage students to mingle with them? Who, in the right mind, actually wants to sit and have coffee with an accomplished scholar of their field and have an erudite conversation?
3. Brown’s campus is the paragon of diverse. Not only do students come from a myriad of backgrounds, but they are also distinct in thought and experience. It’s actually difficult to find two students who are identical—and that just sucks. How is a guy suppose to be comfortable with his individuality if there is no one on campus to apprecaite the exact same traits and characteristics?
4. Intellectual freedom is palpable. Thanks to Brown’s notorious Open Curriculum, students are allowed to be the engineers of their own education, and can choose classes without requirements. (I spit on the Open Curriculum!). It has been proven time and again that the only way to create leaders for our future is through structure and discipline, dang it! But no—these Brown students wish to learn in the pursuit of knowledge (whatever that means…) instead of competing against their peers for the highest grades and research opportunities. Unfortunately, you won’t find any shark tanks here at Brown—just a bunch of happy, cheerful students. (Ew.)
5. Lastly, Brown’s generous financial aid policy allows people to afford an education. Dishing out nearly 100 million dollars in financial aid every year, Brown has made it possible for students to come to school in spite of financial barriers. 100 MILLION DOLLARS?!? Brown can most certainly put that to good use by, perhaps, using that to afford AC for the dorms (a very serious issue), but no… Brown cares more about meeting 100% demonstrated need for students to attend the institution rather than much needing cooling mechanisms. So there you have it! Brown is a place to be feared; I mean, who actually wants to attend a blissful, collaborative University that encourages students to learn for the sake of learning? Exactly. So when you’re determining a college, focus a lot on the intangible components that you won’t find on the website. You may or may not be making the greatest decision of your life come May 1—and you don’t want to be enticed by the name of the school or the rank of the program alone, as the overall environment and atmosphere of a college is just as important.